Sunday, July 7, 2013

Identity Politics



From the moment we come out of the womb we struggle forward in an eternal search for the things that will form our identity, who are we, who do we belong to, who are the people that we will become. When illness, injury or death enters our lives this perspective changes, not just in ourselves, but also in those around us. Who we are and how we are seen changes, sometimes instantly, but always gradually and progressively is the acceptance of that change. 

As someone who started and lived my first twenty-six years as an athlete and in perfect health, this change has struck me hard.  Gliding atop the gods longest siren call, the movement of the ocean was mine and I was it. I moved as swiftly and smoothly as a fish, always able to maneuver my way through the underwater crevices of life with ease. Then all of sudden I couldn’t. For the last almost fifteen years I have struggled to raise my arms off of body more than a quarter of an inch or to walk across the room without falling.

Stubbornness, lots of hard work and the care of good health providers has kept me going, from being bed ridden like most people with my disease, Inclusion Body Myositis, but the world now sees me differently.  If you are in a wheel chair it gives people a reference point, disabled people are in wheelchairs, have canes, use walkers… however, without these, people just stare, make assumptions, call the police and report you as a drunk in public.  The only things we have, the weapons in arsenal, is ourselves, the abilities we were born with and have developed. Like the women in this vide I struggle with the, What now? Writing has been the resource I have developed, the wheelchair I am equipping for underwater travels once again!

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